Wednesday 18 June 2008

10 SECOND INTERVIEW WITH MYSELF (LOL) JUDE CALVERT-TOULMIN

Here's a 10 second Interview I did on Facebook with the 10 second interview app.

If you don't know how this works, the database comes up with pre-programmed random questions and you can either answer them or move onto the next one. So, they're their questions and my answers in mauve, all answered in under 10 seconds (dunno if that's the point or not but that's how I did it. See, sometimes I do join in with the stupid crappy Facebook apps!)

Women are...

Complimentary to men and deserve equality

What's your dream job?

Author, which is what I'm doing. People keep telling me they want to see me on TV again after Come Dine With Me and I'd love to do some more TV. Once my next two novels are out I may do a YouTube cookery show, but the novels come first. 

George W. Bush is...

A cunt

What celebrity do you wish would just go away?

Jimmy Carr, Alan Carr, Jimmy Saville

What was your worst fashion mistake?

The black fake fur cape. Ask my daughters.

I'd do just about anything for...

Brian

What's the closest you've come to death?

Giving birth to my first baby 1989. Nearly walking out in front of a bus on Oxford Street  in London,1983

What are the strangest two foods you've combined together?

Marmalade and cold Thai coconut vegetable soup on baked potato. Last week that was.

I like to wear...

What I want. Although that means being shouted at by men almost every time I leave the house. 

What advice would you give your younger self?

All those men treating you badly and telling you they're better than you? They're jealous and insecure arseholes. Get rid of them from your life.

No matter how badly I needed the money, I'd never...

Have sex for it. 

In retrospect, do you wish you had studied harder or had more fun?

I had fun wasting time. now I'm having fun working.

What makes you blush?

Very occasionally, my big gob

If I wrote the script for a porno, I'd title it...

Hate porn. It's a degrading and destructive industry. Internet porn is the biggest cause of divorce in the USA. Erotic literature is a whole different ball game so to speak.

Five star hotel or a tent in the woods?

Champagne and oysters in a tent in the woods

What's the worst movie you've ever seen?

When Harry Met Sally. I walked out.

I love the scent of...

Freesias

Everything is negotiable in a relationship, except...

Trust. 

What's your earliest memory?

Crying, feeling imprisoned and abandoned behind my cot bars and no-one coming to rescue me.

What's your favorite web site?

Google

Do you play any instruments?

Acoustic 12 string guitar, bit of piano. percussion.


For the talent portion of the competition, I will...

Write a best selling book My novel Mother-in-Law, Son-in-Law became a best seller in February 2012.

When I was little, I used to believe that...

One day I would make books. I was right.

What always makes you smile, no matter how bad a day you're having?

Babies

What's one magical thing that happened today?

A hard chapter wrote itself and I managed to transcribe it all

My backpack/purse/wallet contains the following surprising things:

A mini spirit level

What's your favorite candy?

My home made fudge

What's your favorite type of cuisine?

Moroccan, Vietnamese,Thai, Chinese, Indian,

When I'm bored, I...

I'm never bored. I don't have an off switch. How can anyone be bored with Google at their fingertips?

If I were the first person to land on the moon, I would've said:

That's one small step for a woman considering we grow humans

My philosophy is...

Do as you would be done by

What's your magic word?

Moonbeam

Use the following words in a sentence: pink, dirigible, luckily, phonics

Luckily, the fact she didn't know what either phonics or dirigible meant didn't make her cheeks go pink when she blushed.

Have you ever been on TV?

Yup

Fame or Fortune?

Work

Please buy me a...

Nothing. the best gifts are free

What cartoon character did you have a crush on?

Pepe le Pew

Girls go to Mars to get more...

Closer to the Mars probe